Never settle if you are in the dark

This is to everyone who is scared of their partner who thinks they would never survive or be able to function after the mental torture you can.

I was with a man for 10 years who hurt me so badly i still get physical effects and the odd mental thing when it comes to sex. If you are easily offended stop reading now as what i’m going to say might be upsetting but i have had msgs off girls who are in bad relationships i can’t tell them what to do but i can explain how i felt in a similar situation what they take from that i hope helps.

You meet someone so charismatic they take the piss out out of your coat i had a long white one on from topshop 1st day at work he said i looked like a lollipop lady and to be honest that thought fleeted across my mind when i bought it. I was working as a dancer and tub girl so one minute i’d be dressed as one of the Jackson five or in a bikini. I liked him instantly he was tall and dark my usual type people who nae me know his job. I don’t want to use this to trash him as he could one day change and become a better man my dad did...but that’s another story! Fuck i’m being longwinded.

Anyway i loved him with every part of my being and he constantly cheated on me he’d get in bed next to me smelling of other girls and i hated it when he touched me as i knew he was dirty the cunt didn’t even shower after. I finally caught him at it in the bosses office where apparently that's where he could do what he wanted with most of my mates to i found out later on...Anyhoo i stupidly loved him so much i would do owt to keep him as i felt so ugly he told me no one else would ever want me as i had put on weight and i was nothing. I did everything he asked to keep the relationship going threesomes even with girls who were prettier than me he told me. I was lucky to be included.

Then i got pregnant and he got really violent he always smacked me and punched me but it was just his temper deep down i thought he only did it because he loved me and wanted me to correct my bad behaviour so i’d be a better person. 

I lost a child from being bad,or so i thought i know now it was him that did it but it did hurt and stay with me i’m healing now 10 yrs on. If anything rings a bell out of this story get away sweethearts don't waste your time it’s precious x